Do you know when it’s time to move on?
I have done my fair share of over staying my welcome in situations. I remember feeling stuck, almost as if I was in that sunken space and had no control. That was usually a result of me having put a lot of energy and effort into something and not being ready to walk away. Like staying longer would somehow negate that I needed to move on. So, I would give and give and give some more. I would sow, sow and sow some more but my reality didn’t change. It may have become a bit more bearable for the moment, but yea I still needed to move on. I am at this place now where I am more reflective; I am more accepting of the truth no matter how hard it is to digest. Let me tell you, that is a task. I feel we tend to be overwhelmed with others opinions, whether positive or negative and those opinions shape us. Those opinions influence how we live our lives.
It became clear to me that for far too long, I had taken residence inside of Fear’s home. Doing things that came easy or because of an onlookers encouraging words, not realizing that flying alone didn’t make me a bird. “Forward“
Moving on is hard to do, I feel like that’s a song. Chances are, it probably is. It’s something we all deal with. Now, let me be crystal clear: moving on isn’t running from things you need to face. No, no, no beloved, moving on is ridding your life of toxic things, people, and situations.
Moving on is the thing we have to do to position ourselves for what’s really for us. I remember being so stuck in my pre-move that it was all I could see or feel. The thing about that pre place is that it doesn’t start bad. It starts hopeful, exciting even and somewhere along the line it shifts. Perhaps the shift is related to us settling or perhaps the settling of those around us. Whoever is doing the settling, it becomes unsettling and we need to move on. Here are few signs I identified as moving on indicators.
Signs That You Need To Move On
| It’s a Struggle to get out of Bed | When that alarm sounds and you feel like it just started raining inside your house, literally water everywhere. You’re trying to shield yourself from the raindrops and they just keep coming, the struggle is real. If facing your day is this then chances are you need to move on. The reality is everyday won’t be sunny, but it shouldn’t be rain on the inside either. I think it’s important to distinguish between the Monday blues and the daily blues. Having the Monday blues is being sad because your weekend flew by, maybe you had an amazing weekend where you did everything under the sun and you want to keep doing it or you had a weekend where you did nothing at all and you want to keep doing it. Either way, the Monday blues aren’t so much about what you’re facing on Monday as it is what you are missing from the weekend. To have the daily blues is to be regretful about facing your day. These type of blues that prompt you to pull the covers over your head as you mumble, why me Lord? No one wants to feel like this, no one should feel like this. If you do, it might be time to move on. Don’t make any hasty decisions by all means, but do figure out the root of your struggle. Do weigh the options of whether this struggle is fruitful. Do create a plan of exit, and if the shoe fits, do move on.
| You No Longer Feel Connected | Some of us are feelers. We feel or want to feel everything; we want to feel good, accomplished, progressive. And, when we no longer feel that way, a little buzzer starts to sound inside of us. That buzzing noise that you hear and/or feel is your connection indicator. It’s that thing in us that either says, “I love this so much,” or “I’m not feeling it.” Whatever the message, its good to listen. It is my belief that our purpose is people, yes all as in everybody in the world. Now there are some of us who get warm and fuzzy about purpose and others of us who couldn’t care less; if you’re the latter this isn’t for you. As I was saying, our purpose is people. The way in which we live out our purpose is what differs, but the message remains the same. If you’re in a position where you can no longer serve your purpose, it may be time to move on. And, that’s okay. It is important to understand what impedes our ability to carry out our purpose, if it’s a case of the Monday blues, get over it. If there are actual things, people, or situations stopping you from living in your purpose, buzzzzzzz. Remember a few sentences ago when I said some people couldn’t care less about purpose, well here is one of the ways it applies. People will try to stop you from living in your purpose. Those efforts will affect your connection. You moving on isn’t running, your moving on is positioning yourself to be fruitful.
| Your Stress is No Longer Healthy | Remember when you were in school and the teacher taught us about stress. The stress that propels us forward, the stress that makes us better because we are working harder, that’s good, healthy stress. The stress that makes you feel like its raining inside your house, or the stress that makes you anxious because you no longer feel connected, or even the stress that drives you to drink or engage in any type of behavior that drowns real feelings is bad stress. If you find yourself doing things to hide how you really feel, your stress is no longer healthy. It’s actually rather toxic. I don’t want to get all deep into the physical implications of stress, you can learn more about that in my accountability group, what I do want to do is make sure you understand the difference. If its not moving you forward, chances are its taking you backwards.
Now, what I don’t want to do is create the illusion that life is easy, because baby it aint. Yes, I said aint! Life is filled with ups and down, uncertainties and for sures, these are things we really can’t change. What we can change is what we accept as normal. If you want to jump out of bed with a song in your heart, do that. (Forward) If you want to feel deeply connected to everything you do, do that. (Forward) If you want to consume your life with all the healthy stress as you propel yourself to your destined position, DO THAT! (Forward) But complacency, don’t do that.
Is it time for you to move on from something?